Notes | gru:Bz

Notes

Notes

Why do I blog?

Lately I’ve put a lot of thought into why I blog. A few months ago, it was because I had so many ideas to get out of my head I just had to do it. I came up with post after post about my different experiences and the things I’ve learned and developed opinions on over the years. For a while, I didn’t even know what writer’s block felt like.

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Right side of the bed

Some of my best days start out absolutely horrible. Some of my worst days start out feeling like everything is going perfect.

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The old man down the road

I woke up to the doorbell ringing this morning. Who in the hell could be here this early?

So I got up and opened the front door. There was this little old man standing there in a brown Member’s Only jacket and some khakis.

“Hey, I’m your neighbor from two houses down,” he said. “You guys have a grey cat?”

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Drafts + Micro.blog

I’ve been using Obsidian for all of my blog notes and drafts since I started blogging. It’s a powerhouse for writing pretty much anything from code to blog posts, and it has a ton of themes and plugins to choose from. It might not be an Everything App™ but it’s definitely an Everything Writing App.

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Live for today

I saw an ancient meme on Reddit the other day, something along the lines of “in 10 years you’ll want to go back to now because the good old days are happening and we don’t even know it.”

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I quit energy drinks

I’ve been drinking at least one 12oz Redbull a day since somewhere around 2010. Right after high school, I was doing a lot of manual labor jobs so the extra energy boost really helped. Especially after partying all night like college kids do.

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Thoughts on AI to help with little bits of code

I know AI in coding is a touchy subject, but I’ve been learning a lot using Claude to help do things I otherwise had no idea how to do. I still have to know what I’m trying to realistically accomplish and what code I need to change, and how to shoehorn it into the rest of the code it without breaking everything.

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It's ok to disagree

I was talking to a coworker about his experience buying a car recently. Every time the salesman would suggest something, he’d push back like “eh I don’t like that color” or “yeah I don’t really like that brand.” Then the salesman would cave and agree like “oh yeah; that’s an ugly color. I hate Chevys too.”

He got annoyed and bought a car somewhere else. Don’t be a sycophant. It’s okay to have your own opinions, even if you’re a car salesman.

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Revisiting why I quit social media

So a couple weeks ago I decided to get rid of social media. I deleted my Mastodon account permanently but only deactivated Bluesky. I couldn’t help myself. I logged back on the next day. I do like it there. It feels less radical than Mastodon and more like how old Twitter felt way back in the day.

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A hate hate relationship

I’m lucky in the relationship department. We rarely ever fight and when we do, we might avoid each other for the rest of the day or maybe a couple days if it’s a particularly bad argument but we always approach it in a diplomatic way once we’ve both gathered our bearings. We work through it and come out of the other side understanding each other a little better than before when it’s all said and done.

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Slow down

Anxiety is literally going too fast. Thinking too far ahead, trying to compute all the possible outcomes of a situation as if that’s remotely possible. I’m bad about that.

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Digital clutter

A messy home can really bring my mood down. I always feel a lot better when the floors are vacuumed and mopped and there isn’t a bunch of junk all over the table.

I feel the same way about my digital life. It almost gives me a stroke when I see someone with five or six home screens packed edge to edge with apps. Especially junk apps they installed to use one time and just left them there like some kind of barbarian.

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COVID made me rethink my career

I’m just getting over a bad case of COVID, so that means back to work. It’s pretty sad to admit, but even with how shitty I’ve felt for the last 10 days, it was nice forgetting about the daily grind. I slept as much as I could every day, I caught up on a lot of good television and I finally got to spend some much needed quality time with my partner.

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No sick days

I’m on day four of COVID. Started feeling a little weird at work Friday and I woke up Saturday feeling like I got thrown down a flight of stairs. I told my boss I should be good just taking the weekend off and I’ll be back Monday.

Yeah, that didn’t take. I woke up feeling even worse Monday. I was so hoarse I could barely talk. Whatever I did manage to get out sounded like Darth Vader on his death bed.

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You can't say that on Youtube!

George Carlin had that list of dirty words you couldn’t say on TV back in the 70’s. Record labels release edited versions of hit songs to clean them up for radio. Movies are always censored to remove nudity and profanity for TV.

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Those weren't the best years of your life

Steve Buscemi as the Fellow Kids guy, holding a skateboard and wearing a backwards ball cap with his MUSIC BAND t-shirt

My generation is pretty bad about not wanting to grow up. We talk about how we “just can’t adult today,” or how our parents seemed so grown up when they were in their 30s but we still feel like kids.

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Late night hangs

I can’t think of anything I love more than the dead of night. I don’t know what it is, specifically. I used to think it was because that’s when all the parties happen, but the older I get the more I realize I didn’t even like raging with big groups of people in the first place.

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Overthinking: a self-inflicted scam

I’m bad about overthinking. Like obnoxiously bad.

I can never leave well enough alone because I start thinking about what I should have done or how I can do the same thing, only better.

Then a few days later I’ve forgotten all about whatever it was and I’m already overthinking the next thing.

It’s a self inflicted scam. We’re constantly learning new things and getting better at the things we already know through repetition. So I end up in a perpetual battle against myself that I can’t win. I guess I can’t really lose, either.

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Don't meet your heroes: Mr. Beast edition

I keep getting sucked into watching the Mr. Beast drama that’s been going on for the last few weeks. Ava Tyson was called out for sending inappropriate Discord messages to minors and since then more and more former employees are coming out and revealing all sorts of greasy stuff about what goes on behind the scenes over there.

I don’t even watch their videos but it’s been so interesting to see it unfold because it’s the most beloved and successful YouTube channel to ever exist. I feel like it’s one of those “don’t meet your heroes” scenarios. If you look into the personal lives of celebrities, you might find a lot of sketchy or downright repulsive behavior.

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People who don't tip

I don’t get the anti-tipping culture on Reddit. There’s a whole community of people who never leave tips, pretending to protest in favor of the tipped employee because their wages should be higher? “Hey I don’t think you make enough money so I’m punishing you for your boss making you rely on tips to survive”