I’m on day four of COVID. Started feeling a little weird at work Friday and I woke up Saturday feeling like I got thrown down a flight of stairs. I told my boss I should be good just taking the weekend off and I’ll be back Monday.

Yeah, that didn’t take. I woke up feeling even worse Monday. I was so hoarse I could barely talk. Whatever I did manage to get out sounded like Darth Vader on his death bed.

​ ​ I’m finally starting to get a handle on the cold sweats and dry coughing spells but holy shit COVID is definitely not over. I had to move an in-person doctor visit scheduled for tomorrow to a phone appointment because I didn’t want to walk into a building full of people, even with a mask on. The receptionist told me I was the fifth person in the last two days who had to reschedule due to COVID. Really feels like we’re hitting an uptick in cases again.

At first, I was panicking because I work on commission and I’m dreading coming back to rebuild momentum on the deliveries that pay my bills. Then I found out I can cover my sick days with vacation time, so now I feel a little less stressed. Sucks I won’t get a real vacation this year but what can you do.

The strangest thing to me is the guilt I feel for having to take a week off of work. I feel like I did something wrong because my body is literally so weak I physically can’t work? That’s gross.

​I work six and seven day weeks pretty regularly. I never say “no” when they call me in on a day off. I never complain about overtime or long commutes or anything else they throw at me. I’ve never even called off a single day in the three years I’ve been at this place. Last year I didn’t even take a vacation at all, I just cashed out my vacation pay and kept on working.

​If I ever start making enough money to stop living check to check, I think I’ll look into this wacky “work-life balance” concept I keep hearing about.