I hate that lol you’re nervous about something and someone tells you aw don’t be nervous!

Or you’re stressing over something and they scream at you to CALM THE FUCK DOWN!!

Oh okay! I didn’t think about it that way! I’m so silly 🤪

For real though, one of the things about getting older is caring less about what people think. I used to think my dad looked so lame wearing 10 year old, $7 jeans from Walmart, generic black tennis shoes and a plain solid color tee shirt all the time like he’s some kinda Seinfeld character. Meanwhile I was straightening my blonde emo-ver hair, wearing skin tight skinny jeans with a pink studded belt from Spencer’s and walking around in loud, multicolor, just… massive tongued skating shoes.

These days, half the time I’m at work anyway so I’m wearing a long-sleeved oxford, black or grey khakis and black leather dress shoes with the fake little strip of wood around the heel. I feel like a tool. But eventually I got why my dad’s generation just rocked the cotton tee and Rustler jeans without a heck to give. Or in the summer, awkwardly short cutoff jean “short pants” but we don’t have to talk about that today.

But yeah I get it. For a while it felt weird stopping by the gas station or grocery store looking like a 1980’s used car salesman but next thing I know I’ve just been going through the motions for the last two years and now I don’t really think about it. When I do, I’m like eh, at least I look like I have my shit together so who cares.

Then everyone in the parking lot sees me get into my beat up, 10 year old Honda and that kinda cancels out the little strip of wood around the heel but that’s ok!

In 20 minutes I won’t even remember half of the things I did today, let alone my assumptions about what the random strangers at Kroger might of thought about me. A year from now? 10 years? I don’t even remember a single specific thing I did for the entire year of 2014. Probably smoked a lot of $20 an eighth weed on a crusty futon in someone’s mom’s basement, but other than that who knows.

I’m not saying you can “law of attraction” your social anxiety away, but I think it starts to wear down after years of relentless repetition. To a degree, anyway.